Grasping onto living life as a stay at home mom has been a rough transition for me. (I will be writing a series about this in the near future). But something changed when I had my third child last year. The initial adjustment to having a new born again was a bit painful, but I gradually became a more and more focused mother. The fact that I absolutely, without a doubt, had positively no time to think about what I’d rather be doing with my life, actually brought me a profound sense of peace. I grew completely focused on those sweet little faces that look to me for love and care every day. And I started realizing how much I enjoying being with them! And how much I want to care for them. And how much I just want to fold the dang laundry!!!
The day I realized I had finally grasped motherhood was when my youngest was just a few months old. Prior to her being born, I had finally gotten into a cleaning and laundry routine where I didn’t fall behind. After she was born, that obviously changed and I can remember one night staring at a pile of laundry that I had managed to get washed but not folded. I was at a breaking point. My husband came into the room and asked if he could help me with anything. I just about collapsed in tears. “I just want to fold the laundry!” I whimpered. So he took the baby and I folded the laundry and I felt much better about the world.
In the past I would have said, “I just want to dance,” “I just want to go back to school,” I just want to work.” But not now. I feel so focused on being a mom (finally) that I just want to put the baby down long enough to fold her little pjs. Nap times have become a time of regrouping for me while I find my zen sweeping the floors. How things have changed! And how lovely it is!